Long story short I have an image I don’t like but from another point of view I fit it perfectly. It’s not really a negative perception but I just don’t like I’m being shoved into a stereotype. It’s even more infuriating when I try to do my best to not fit into that stereotype. But people still see me as said stereotype.

So what should one do when they have an image they don’t care for? Should they try their hardest to change it? Or maybe something else?

    • vrek@programming.dev
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      11
      ·
      13 hours ago

      I built a hundred bridges but am I known as John the bridge builder? NO! I built a dozen a castles but am I known as John the castle builder? NO! But I fuck one sheep…

  • Mac@mander.xyz
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    3
    ·
    9 hours ago

    You should focus on being true to yourself and let others think what they want.
    Anyone’s opinion of you, that isn’t close enough to you to know if it’s accurate, doesnt matter.

    • Fat Tony@lemmy.worldOP
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      10
      ·
      16 hours ago

      Suppose I was, what advice would you give?

      Seriously, that’s actually a pretty good analogy. 😂

      • Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        11 hours ago

        I suppose you could become Big Tony by turning fat to lean muscle but that would only increase the mobster stereotype despite all the hard work. If there’s a skill or love you have, you could lean into getting noticeably good at it. Then at least you’d be Fat Tony the Mobster Who’s Surprisingly Good At Textile Art.

      • Apytele@sh.itjust.works
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        12
        ·
        edit-2
        16 hours ago

        Get a blue Mohawk and wear Hawaiian polos, cargo shorts, and tennis shoes everywhere. If you really don’t like what people see, change what they see. Or change the context they see you in. If you’re always hanging around a cleaners with other people who look like Italian mobsters and you look like you fit in then there you are. Whether it’s ultimately worth it to you to change your appearance or lifestyle is ultimately up to you. There are, ultimately, 4 ways to deal with a problem:

        1. redefine / stop thinking about it as a problem
        2. accept that the problem exists
        3. be willing to do whatever you have to do to change the problem
        4. be upset about the problem.

        #4 is the only one I vehemently recommend against. 1-3 are all roughly equal in the amount of distress you will be left with in the end.

  • Libb@piefed.social
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    3
    ·
    11 hours ago

    So what should one do when they have an image they don’t care for?

    If one doesn’t care, why bother?

  • Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    10
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    15 hours ago

    People don’t randomly assign you to a stereotype. They based it off of your appearance and actions.

    If you want to be seen as someone else, you need to act like that instead.

  • Onomatopoeia@lemmy.cafe
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    10
    arrow-down
    2
    ·
    16 hours ago

    Nothing to be done - that image is all in the minds of other people, and you don’t control what they think.

    Just do you, people will be who they are.

  • SaneMartigan@aussie.zone
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    6
    ·
    16 hours ago

    Keep living your life however you want to. If you lean in to it that can solidify said stereotype, if you lean away from it people can see the opportunity to bully you further with it. Grey rocking the stereotype with simple disinterested answers will lessen it’s hold over you. Like the other person said, if you’re assumed to be a mobster, saying things like “yeah people have been making that joke all my life now”, “ohh original havne’t heard that before”, “sure, watch out or I’ll get the boys onto you.” Passively engage with it giving it as little energy as possible and people will usually match that. If someone thinks they’re hit comedy gold with your stereotype ask if they’ll ever have any new material or are they planning on using the same tired joke through your entire relationship?