I’m on here, because I’m sick of reddit’s censorship. I don’t even know how and why they censored this post because it’s getting disgusting. Reddit is seriously getting more disgusting as the days go by, anyways here is my post and would like some input from guys:
So over a hundred or more of us study together on Discord, and I met a girl there. (Please read on, come on now.) Anyway I started talking to her and things were going well. Then one thing led to another and I fumbled hard. I don’t know what the context was, but in trying to do or say the right thing, I inadvertently played myself and got left on read so hard, I’d rather cave into the earth out of embarrassment.
Just for some context: I’m not your average potato looking guy. I’ve had relationships, ONS, etc. But I find that when I REALLY like a girl, I don’t know what to say, or what to do. I can end up in different beds when I’m indifferent to the person, but when I REALLY like a girl, it seems to always go south for me. Maybe it’s the overthinking. Maybe I double text too much? Don’t know lol but the end result is always negative: Ghosting and Leaving my ass on red after sending me pictures of her cat (her pet, nothing else lol come on now focus). She also sent me pics of her stuffed bear that she sleeps with.
Long story short, I fumbled so hard that now I come into the room to study/focus, but end up seeing her, having a good time and laughing on camera, and enjoying probably texting other dudes who aren’t fumbling. I wish they would give us the benefit of the doubt and understand the pressure. I’m trying to win your approval and that makes me nervous enough already. Do I take my L and move on? I swear every successful relationship I’ve had, the women seemed to be more into me than I was into them, regardless of how beautiful they were. I find that when they’re into me more, it leads to a 1-2 year relationship. When I’m the one who has a crush, boom, it fails every time. I can’t think of a time where I’ve had a crush on someone and it has led to anything.
I could talk to girls at my gym, get numbers, etc, no problem. But when I get this “crush” feeling, it leaves ME crushed because any rule that I have for getting a girl, automatically falls out the window. In trying hard to do it “right” it always ends up failing. Do I just hide her camera from my view, take my L and move on? I didn’t even send dirty messages or something, I think I just got nervous and rambled about something, not sure. Unfortunately they don’t give the benefit of the doubt, if you fumble, they move on so quick that you’re left wondering “but wait a minute she was calling me good looking and sending me pics and joking around with me, and now I don’t even exist all of a sudden?”
EDIT: BOYS WE DID IT!!! IM BACK IN THE GAME AND NOT GOING TO FUCK UP! THANK YOU GUYS! IF I FUCK UP AGAIN, IT’S ON ME. WE ARE BACK IN BUSINESS BABYYYYY!!!
I just skimmed and saw the words – study, Discord, girl – move on.
Wait what? It doesn’t sound like there is anything to revive. IDK what it means to be “left on read” but yeah, move on. If it’s a long term Discord maybe things will reset themselves after a long enough wait, but don’t bet on it.
“Left on read” - She gets his messages but does not read them. His icon on Discord probably has a [328] next to it.
You mean “unread”? I see, maybe blocked or /ignore or whatever it’s called on Discord. I don’t think I’d date a Discord user either, so it’s ok.
Do the marie kondo thing and if it doesn’t spark joy let it go. At least one of you two will be grateful in the long run.
Dag nabit I wish this whole encounter was in real life, I would have been wooed her by now and made her mine but these god damn text games are something otherwordly af.
Well you didn’t give much info about what supposedly went wrong. What do you suspect? Maybe you should share or paraphrase what your last texts were, if you think that was where you messed up. Or anything else you think made her withdraw. Then people can actually give you advice based on that, because whether you still have a chance depends on what went wrong. You need to analyze.
Alright, just don’t laugh at me or cringe or call me a simp. She said she’s a traditional girl, etc. I took that to mean she likes a guy who takes charge, is motivated, studying, etc. So I rambled about how guys should protect and provide for their woman. Because that’s what I learned from MY parents. Anyways, something about this sentiment didn’t sit right with her I guess. She asked me if I would go to mars for her, I said I’ll go to Jupiter and back etc. I think after that, she probably lost interest. Don’t know. In the beginning it was all cute and cuddly like the Penguins movie. It all went down hill and now I’m sitting here embarrassed, somewhat sad, and just wish I could have had the benefit of the doubt instead of getting left on read and her moving on to some other guy.
Should I play it cool and just slide into her DMs a week later like nothing happened? Or move on.
She said she’s a traditional girl, etc. I took that to mean … So I rambled about…
That right there is where you oughta be doing a lot more listening than assuming.
I think language barrier also plays a role here. Things can be taken out of context or the wrong way real quick if the English is not the first language. But yeah somehow I got the balls to turn this whole thing around. Ya boy will say less and listen more, guaranteed. She even agreed to my forthcoming “I like you” message and decided to give me a shot. LOL
Last night I took a L but tonight I bounce back
Maybe take lessons, not losses. Next time say what’s authentic, not what someone wants to hear, that way, even if it takes a while, when you win, it’s real, and maybe it will last a while. If I’d learned this a long time ago, I could have saved myself plenty of grief.
Best to you.
Listen to this song with the transcript open:
Maybe it’s not really any specific thing, but rather just her realizing she’s not interested. It’s not something you should be so hard on yourself for, it happens no matter what you do or who you are. Of course there’s always room for personal growth but always remember you can do everything right and still lose. Like, I don’t really see this as taking an L, more like taking a That’s the way she goes boi.
What’s an “L”?
Loss
It’s a failure basically.
An L is when you’re the loser basically. You take your “Loss” or embarrassing “L” and move on. It’s a young people thing…
I remember it from baseball, way back. Each team had a W-L record.
But I think an L is like super embarrassing and you NEVER want the L…Anyways, man she’s so beautiful. Fuck I wish I didn’t fumble and just played it cool.
Just wear a hat to cover up the L written on your forehead.
They don’t make hats big enough for my dumb ass. God I’m so dumb, like I should just play it cool and not get so damn nervous!!
I don’t know how you screwed up. Or how long she’s left you hanging.
If it’s a couple of days, I’d let it lie and then send her another message.
If it’s been a few weeks, maybe drop her a message, admit the screw up, and see if she’ll overlook it.
I mean it’s only been 2 days now…
Do I mention my screw up? I really want to let that ghost stay a ghost and try a different approach. I really like this one and maybe I can make something out of it.
Oh my god. I’m reading my messages with her right now, I’d ghost me too smh. Fuck.
Yo. I’d go with honesty. Something like: “I read these messages, and they’re really cringy. But I like you. Can we talk? If you don’t answer, or you say no, I’ll leave you alone.”
That gives her the choice. If you don’t get a yes, leave her alone.
Dude you’re solid. That’s exactly what I did, and she gave me a shot lol now I’m playing it cool like a playa playa, she double triple and quadriple texting your boy LOLOL
This is probably the most beautiful thing I’ve seen online in a while. I’m glad she’s messaging you back! Good luck!
Alright, you know what I’m going to take a deep breath and do exactly that. Yolo in this bitch. (not calling her a bitch lol)
I went with Hii (her name) and she responded. Wonder if I should send your message now LOL
You’re gonna have to take that chance. Doing that puts the ball in her court for the next step. That makes you vulnerable to being hurt. She will know that, that you’re putting yourself in that position.
It’s like when a dog lays on his back for belly rubs. It’s a vulnerable position, shows “I don’t want to hurt you, and I trust you not to hurt me.” If she needs to say no, she’ll do it kindly, then you need to accept it.
But you might get belly rubs.
That shit worked, we’re talking again. Let me not screw this up again. She’s telling me about how tired she is probably from work.
Nice! Take it easy with her. If she’s too tired to chat, give her room.
And like someone else mentioned: go slow. Ask questions. Get to know her.
Good luck dude. I hope it works out.
We are chatting about rap songs from her culture. We are back in business! Your boy is one step closer to losing his nervousness virginity.
