I’m on here, because I’m sick of reddit’s censorship. I don’t even know how and why they censored this post because it’s getting disgusting. Reddit is seriously getting more disgusting as the days go by, anyways here is my post and would like some input from guys:
So over a hundred or more of us study together on Discord, and I met a girl there. (Please read on, come on now.) Anyway I started talking to her and things were going well. Then one thing led to another and I fumbled hard. I don’t know what the context was, but in trying to do or say the right thing, I inadvertently played myself and got left on read so hard, I’d rather cave into the earth out of embarrassment.
Just for some context: I’m not your average potato looking guy. I’ve had relationships, ONS, etc. But I find that when I REALLY like a girl, I don’t know what to say, or what to do. I can end up in different beds when I’m indifferent to the person, but when I REALLY like a girl, it seems to always go south for me. Maybe it’s the overthinking. Maybe I double text too much? Don’t know lol but the end result is always negative: Ghosting and Leaving my ass on red after sending me pictures of her cat (her pet, nothing else lol come on now focus). She also sent me pics of her stuffed bear that she sleeps with.
Long story short, I fumbled so hard that now I come into the room to study/focus, but end up seeing her, having a good time and laughing on camera, and enjoying probably texting other dudes who aren’t fumbling. I wish they would give us the benefit of the doubt and understand the pressure. I’m trying to win your approval and that makes me nervous enough already. Do I take my L and move on? I swear every successful relationship I’ve had, the women seemed to be more into me than I was into them, regardless of how beautiful they were. I find that when they’re into me more, it leads to a 1-2 year relationship. When I’m the one who has a crush, boom, it fails every time. I can’t think of a time where I’ve had a crush on someone and it has led to anything.
I could talk to girls at my gym, get numbers, etc, no problem. But when I get this “crush” feeling, it leaves ME crushed because any rule that I have for getting a girl, automatically falls out the window. In trying hard to do it “right” it always ends up failing. Do I just hide her camera from my view, take my L and move on? I didn’t even send dirty messages or something, I think I just got nervous and rambled about something, not sure. Unfortunately they don’t give the benefit of the doubt, if you fumble, they move on so quick that you’re left wondering “but wait a minute she was calling me good looking and sending me pics and joking around with me, and now I don’t even exist all of a sudden?”
EDIT: BOYS WE DID IT!!! IM BACK IN THE GAME AND NOT GOING TO FUCK UP! THANK YOU GUYS! IF I FUCK UP AGAIN, IT’S ON ME. WE ARE BACK IN BUSINESS BABYYYYY!!!
Well you didn’t give much info about what supposedly went wrong. What do you suspect? Maybe you should share or paraphrase what your last texts were, if you think that was where you messed up. Or anything else you think made her withdraw. Then people can actually give you advice based on that, because whether you still have a chance depends on what went wrong. You need to analyze.
Alright, just don’t laugh at me or cringe or call me a simp. She said she’s a traditional girl, etc. I took that to mean she likes a guy who takes charge, is motivated, studying, etc. So I rambled about how guys should protect and provide for their woman. Because that’s what I learned from MY parents. Anyways, something about this sentiment didn’t sit right with her I guess. She asked me if I would go to mars for her, I said I’ll go to Jupiter and back etc. I think after that, she probably lost interest. Don’t know. In the beginning it was all cute and cuddly like the Penguins movie. It all went down hill and now I’m sitting here embarrassed, somewhat sad, and just wish I could have had the benefit of the doubt instead of getting left on read and her moving on to some other guy.
Should I play it cool and just slide into her DMs a week later like nothing happened? Or move on.
That right there is where you oughta be doing a lot more listening than assuming.
I think language barrier also plays a role here. Things can be taken out of context or the wrong way real quick if the English is not the first language. But yeah somehow I got the balls to turn this whole thing around. Ya boy will say less and listen more, guaranteed. She even agreed to my forthcoming “I like you” message and decided to give me a shot. LOL