Also, for the sake of maximising engagement - what mistakes did adults in-general make when interacting with you as a kid, that you avoid replicating today?
Not teaching me a lot of basic shit, like how to shave, how credit/debit works, exploring food like sushi, teaching me about other countries.
I was taught a lot, especially common sense. I can troubleshoot and diagnose like a madman, even things I know very little about. But my dad wasn’t a talker, so didn’t get much there.
I talk to my kid about everything, we lookup what we don’t know or want to know more about. I go over mistakes I made in life giving him examples of how to not make the same mistakes and save himself the time and trouble.
We call everything “experience”, even bad things, and we learn from them, not unlike skill points and experience points in video games. You can learn from anything, not just good things.
I really wish that my parents had mentioned much earlier in my life that mental illness runs in the family and what the signs were so that I could have started getting treatment right away, rather than wasting years of my life confusing feelings of depression for proof that I was a terrible person. (Just to be clear, there was no malice involved; my mom just felt really self-consious about it, so she did not want to bring it up.)
Don’t be religious.
One of the best parenting decisions I’ve ever made. My Mom is still pissed, but at least she’s stopped giving my kids religious themed gifts and asking when we’re going to baptize them.
Hitting your kids: don’t fucking do that. You might not ever see them when they reach adulthood.
“No buts! Because I said so”
I explain things to my kids so they know WHY we are doing them. If they have an idea as to why we should be doing it differently, like give me 10 more minutes first, or I like it this way, then I listen, consider a compromise, if at all possible.
For example, if it’s time for bed, but they’re in the middle of a fortnite match, then I let them finish it. If it’s time for school, and they just started a match, sorry, turn it off, you knew we had to leave soon.
There’s a time and a place for that, but sometimes you just want them to not run across the road right now.
If I had kids, I would take them seriously. Just because they’re kids doesn’t mean they don’t know how they feel or what they need.
Yes! Also, if you listen to the small stuff, they’ll trust you with the big stuff.
Nothing like getting laughed at when you answer the question of what you want to be when you grow up earnestly.
