moonlight

Really not good, maybe a 2 or 3. I’m not in debt or physically ill or anything but other than that I’m really struggling.

My life feels like it hasn’t really started yet, but I’m in my late 20s already. Never been in a real relationship, never done anything meaningful in my life, I’ve always had friends but never really been close with anyone. I’m going back and forth between being intensely exhausted by work and just getting through the week, and then being really depressed and just trying to get through the weekend.

I feel like I’ve already missed out on so much of life, (living with extreme anxiety, living as the wrong gender, etc has kept me from most meaningful milestones in life) and I don’t want to miss the rest of it, but I feel like that’s what I’m doing every day. Part of me still believes that I can still do great things, and that I can love and be loved, but I’m too afraid and in too much pain to really change anything.

I found this one interesting but oddly sad to listen to. It can be hard sometimes to listen to a bunch of accomplished, passionate people happily talking about doing what they love