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Joined 3 years ago
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Cake day: June 13th, 2023

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  • Sadly, things like this happen to victims of all kinds of abuse. When I was a kid, my father would sometimes tell me about things that his father did to him. Eventually I recognized that he had suffered horrible physical and verbal abuse. His father, in turn, had lived a life filled with trauma. Instead of dealing with it, he unloaded all his trauma onto his kids who then unloaded their inherited trauma onto their kids, including me.

    When I began to recognize this dynamic, It was like I could see the little boy, within my dad, who just wanted to be loved but instead was systematically destroyed; through no fault of his own. His capacity for joy and love were greatly compressed, and the void filled with fear and anger. I saw that I was just like him and I was horrified at that discovery.

    Sometimes people try to run away from the pain and fear. I think that’s why they try to pretend they’re above it. Because it feels easier to malign people who share your experience, in order to try and pretend it wasn’t real, than it is to face the pain and fear.

    But until you face it, you will never escape it. It will always be there wreaking havoc on your life and lives of those around you.









  • One time I was chillin’ by the pool at the Golden Nugget in Las Vegas, sitting in the shade because I’m a pasty white dude who doesn’t tan at all. After a few hours, I went back to my room where I was surprised to find my entire upper body was sunburned.

    Turns out the hotel towers at the Golden Nugget have a reflective surface and I am so white that I managed to get sunburned by the light reflecting off the building.





  • My first wife was, without a doubt, the worst person I have ever met. I was young and naive and didn’t really understand what I was getting into. But there were signs. Signs that I ignored. I still get a phone call once every few years from someone else whose life she destroyed. People who are so bewildered and worried that they themselves might be crazy that they went through the hassle of tracking me down just so they could have someone to talk to about it.

    I don’t necessarily like talking to strangers about that experience but I do take those calls. And I listen, fully explain what has happened to them, and encourage them to go therapy. Because I know what it’s like sitting alone in middle of the crater where your life used be. It’s better to be alone than to be with someone who makes you wish you were alone.

    My second wife? Absolute saint. One of the best people I know. Came out of left field when I wasn’t even looking and I’m glad she did.






  • Around the US, you can still find lots of buildings that have a disused trash incinerator in the basement or out in a back alley. At one time it was common, basically everywhere, to burn solid waste on site.

    I think eliminating that practice was both good and bad. Good because burning waste in what basically amounts to a burn barrel with a smoke stack is nasty and produces tons of pollution which has lots of negative health related side effects, among other things.

    Bad because it masked, maybe even helped exacerbate, the problem of generating and dealing with increasing amounts of trash. Now, instead of having to choke on billowing clouds of black smoke, you just throw your garbage in a dumpster where it gets hauled away out of sight and dumped in someone else’s back yard. That has consequences too. There are mismanaged landfills all over the place that cause lots of problems. But for most people, they’re out of sight and therefore out of mind.

    And burying trash in the ground is cheap. So much useable stuff gets thrown away because it’s much cheaper, in the short term, to just throw it away.

    It’s shameful. But I don’t know what else to expect from a society that primarily runs on greed.


  • Happy Birthday Sandy!

    Glad your head is doing better.

    I also was told my house insurance won’t cover the foundation damage cause by a tornado spawning essentially on top of my house. The wind applied enough torque to twist my house slightly and it’s *beyond fucked*.

    This is very serious. You need to talk to a lawyer about this asap. Some insurance companies will try to weasel out of paying claims but this very scenario is exactly why you have homeowners insurance. Major structural damage will make selling the house difficult if not impossible. If I were you, I would not let this go without a fight.