I’ve treated Lemmy as a fun, silly blog since I made my account. I love how you can freely post anywhere and as much as you like, unlike on Reddit. I’m also a teen who grew up online with unrestricted internet access and does online school, so I’m a bit addicted to being online. I love how much more interactive the comments feel here, despite it being a smaller platform. I’ve had fun reading and interacting with people. But I think I might delete my account and everything, because people analyzing my behavior and accusing me of things has started to get to me. Most recently, someone accused me of trying to manipulate people because of my age and gender. All I wanted to do was make people feel some fun and giggles. I’m wondering if you’ve ever felt something similar.
I hear the same thing from artists and actors and celebrities in general. They say one bad review can hurt, even if the others are great.
The thing is that there is no way to please everybody, and even beyond that, some people can never be pleased! If you change yourself according to their complaints, they just find new complaints!
The trick is to pay attention only to comments that are trying to engage honestly, in good faith, from an informed perspective.
Which is easy to say and hard to do. I know. How do you know if someone is informed? How do you recognise reasonable-sounding bullshit? How do you recognise a grumpy bastard who is nevertheless saying something you need to hear?
I am surprised to be able to report, as a veteran of many online forums and 46 years of life, that it’s possible! If you spend enough time just not responding to the comments that aren’t being constructive or helpful, they actually stop being so visible in your mind. You may notice in the moment, but they do not hang around any more because your brain has realised they do not matter.
Sometimes you even recognise the mistake they are making while flaming you, give them a politely informative response, and they realise their mistake and start being civilised. Not very often, but sometimes. 😄