Forced to go to a private catholic HS. Dress code for boys included collared shirts. Regularly didn’t wear one. Regularly “caught” and issued detention. By the time I left and for a couple of decades later, as I understand it, I held the record for most hours of detention (~183). Jokes on them as the detention monitor helped me with school work and gave me my first (of many) handjobs. She was a pro.

I beat a teacher at a typing test (speed, which is raw speed with mistakes subtracted; aka WPM, words per minute). He said it wasn’t fair that I found a “better” way. Right fingers on Shift and Enter (and maybe right thumb on Space), and left hand doing the rest of the work. He said that’s not the right way to type, even though he couldn’t type as fast as me. So he took me to the office and said I cheated on the typing test. To pass the class, he made me learn the “normal” way of typing. So I did, and I beat him again, this time with office staff watching.

This was in the early to mid-1990s. No computers, no phones, no Google. I don’t envy today’s kids.

I was in 5th grade during George W. Bush’s stint as governor of Texas in the 90s. He did a bunch of “education reform” there that was the predecessor of the No Child Left Behind Act he championed as President. I was in a relatively good school but despite that, we were learning about nouns and verbs for the first time that year.

The teacher was an idiot and we would get dozens of worksheets that covered the same topic. For the nouns and verbs section, we would read through a paragraph and had to write all the nouns in one column and all the verbs in the other column. When the test came, it was the same as the worksheets but the teacher changed the columns to verb/noun, which I didn’t read and I got a 0 for the test.

I went to the teacher and told her that it was an honest mistake and showed her how I aced all the other assignments, so I obviously understood the concept. She was insistent though that I got a zero despite that. However, because of the new Bush educational policies, students had the right to retake any assignment for the minimum passing grade.


So I asked her to retake the test, she said ok, and I crossed out Noun and wrote Verb and and same to Verb to Noun and handed it back. She immediately wrote another large zero on the page because I couldn’t change that part and I lost recess privileges for the rest of the week for being “rude”.

Revenge came though several weeks later when she was hanging black plastic sheeting on the suspended ceiling to create a makeshift planetarium in corner of the room. She was on a tall ladder and when she was putting up the last sheet, she lost her balance and fell through the sheeting and off the ladder and broke her arm. She was crying out for someone to help her but me and the other kids just let her struggle for a few minutes before she freed herself by tearing through the plastic sheet like Ace Ventura escaping from the rhino, crying.

I’ve told this story before and I’ll tell it again.

4th grade Teacher of the Year winner and current sitting member of the school board Mrs. S. had a strict rule when lining up after recess:

“Straight line, no talking, no touching.”

The bell would ring, and we’d all run to our respective, numbered spots on the playground, in a straight line, without talking, and certainly not touching, one another. Then, Mrs. S. would walk out to us, and we’d recite the line:

“Straight line, no talking, no touching.”

And she’d lead us inside.

One day, returning from recess, the kid in front of me, Joe, was crying while standing on his number. Foolishly, I set my hand on his shoulder, and asked, “Are you alright?” Mrs. S. arrived just in time to rectify the situation. I watched as she strode up to me, staring daggers into my soul, and I yanked my hand off of my fellow student’s shoulder, but the damage was done. Towering over me, inches away, she shouts to the class, “Class, what is the rule?”

“Straight line, no talking, no touching.”

“Papalonian, what is the last part?”

“No touching.”

“No… Touching.”

I received my first and only citation for the rest of my elementary school years. Ever thankful will I be for learning the lesson that empathy (towards someone I didn’t even like) shall never be tolerated when the rules forbid it.

In the sixth grade I got my first detention ever because I picked up my baseball cap.

We were on a field trip and we went to visit some museum in the capital by train. While we walked back to the train station, our teacher stated that “no one is to step out of the train before her permission or they will get detention”. I was the last to get on the train and my cap hit the backpack of the classmate in front of me and fell out of the train doors. I instinctively turned around, leaned out whist holding onto a safety bar and picked my cap. And stepped back on board.

I was a calm kid and had never broken any school rules or gotten into any trouble whatsoever. So when my classmates saw me putting one feet outside the train they simply flipped: “TEACHER, LORINDÓL STEPPED OUT OF THE TRAIN! YOU’RE GETTING A DETENTION!”

I was utterly dumbfounded. My “friends” had betrayed me and the teacher was approaching and looking angry. With tears in my eyes I explained what had happened and reminded her that we still had more than 10 minutes until the train doors would even close. Her face went from angry to sad and she silenced my heckling classmates with a few strict words. She told me that we would discuss this when we were back at school.

When we got back, everyone else got to go home and the teacher asked me to our classroom with her. “Lorindól, I’m very sorry. I have to give you detention because you did step out of the train, even if it was for all the right reasons. I understand you acted instinctively and did not mean to break any rules. But I must keep my word or it will lose it’s meaning. As stupid as this sounds, the purpose of this detention is not to punish you. It’s purpose is to show the others that my word is the law in this classroom, with no exceptions. I hope you can understand why I must do this.” I thought about it for a while and said that I did.

When I told my parents about the detention my dad couldn’t stop laughing. “You finally get a detention and it’s for NOTHING!”

Mom was so angry that she wanted to call the teacher and make her call the detention off. I managed to talk her out of it and didn’t hold any grudge against the teacher. I learned a lot about the world of adults that day.

Me and another kid got detention for fighting.

At my house.

On a Saturday.

On 9/11 we were told something bad was happening in the US, but no details. The teachers decided there would be no class for the rest of day, instead we’d have in-class recess until school ended. We were not informed about what was actually going on, just told to play.

I got in trouble for having fun while playing, because it was disrespectful.

I already knew how to read when going to the first year of school. My parents were worried I’d be bored during classes, so they convinced the teacher to allow me to bring a book to read for myself when I’m done with any reading work. She probably thought I’d bring some fairy tales, and agreed.

When the class came, I finished the reading exercise and pulled out the book I was allowed to. It wasn’t fairy tales though - it was a dinosaur encyclopedia. The teacher got very angry and took the book away, as “it’s not an appropriate reading material for a first grader”.

I refused to speak with the teacher for the rest of the semester.

Grade 6. I had the correct info on a book report (from the World Book Encyclopedia) but my teacher refused to accept them as correct. I “disrupted class” by telling her she was incorrectly giving me a D, and read the relevant passage from the encyclopedia.

Sent to the principal, who said “You’re right, we’ll have your grade changed, but go have a seat out there for a bit and wait so she doesn’t feel insulted”

One of my truly radicalizing moments about speaking truth to power.