I imagine with all that accumulated grime the mustache collapses into a sticky mess by itself

He looks like he’s about to bark at the moon in person

I guess, but sun on its own doesn’t really fit the definition of a tool

Well in its basic form it’s a literal stick in the ground, you aren’t gonna get anything more ancient than that.

A sundial

I was recently at a venue that had two bathrooms: the unisex one which is all stalls, and one for men which is all urinals. Seems like the best of both worlds to me.

“Hey, at least my ball and chain are made of gold!”