doug

if there does happen to be a god or any semblance of an afterlife I have a looooooooot of questions.

number one how dare you? number two get fucked. number three reset the server already.

Didn’t this happen with an iPhone a few years back? FBI couldn’t get into a suspect’s phone, Apple stood firm publicly, but then somehow the FBI got in anyway? Maybe I’m misremembering.

lol I didn’t even say when I got my vasectomy and you’re coming in hot there with the accusatory questions. not gonna bother with that energy 👋

I’m feeling pretty smug about opting to not have kids between this and the fascism— though I admit I didn’t see the fascism coming when I got my vasectomy.

Do you have any idea how much cremation costs? Put ‘em back.

Yep.

As an exercise in catharsis I wrote a short found footage film I wanted to make with some friends called How to Prank Your Neighbors! wherein the prank was obviously a fill-in for something way more nefarious.

The setup was something like “say you know your neighbor is a prankster themselves and they were going to take a prank on someone else too far. Is it not your moral obligation to prank them first? Perhaps so badly they cannot do the harmful prank of their own?”

It’d go into how to get around your neighbor’s security system, how to occupy their dog, and get into their house unnoticed so you could then… prank your neighbor.

Friends told me I should pull my punch by the end, so it ended with the protagonist getting pranked by some unseen party who had been observing them because— after all— the protagonist fit their own description of someone who needs to be pranked, but uhh…

…yeah I dunno, I think if you know your neighbor is a Nazi-in-waiting, they don’t deserve to go… unpranked?

I had to kick myself off Nextdoor for the sake of my blood pressure. I’m trying to work on my mindfulness and not having such hotheaded reactions, but boy howdy does it make my blood boil seeing such bigotry on the feed.

I learned ND doesn’t permaban users anyway. Only temp bans upwards of 6 months.

Also if you have any warnings on your account you can’t have your account deleted until six months after you’ve been warned.

Nnnnngh. NNNNNNNNNNNNNGH. BAZINGA!