Hear me out, it’s a Big Sword conspiracy. They wanted to be the only weapon marketed to the cross-shaped-violence demographic.

Warrior pope you say? I think I read his biography once

Private Lee Lemon may well be the finest recruit I’ve seen in all my years of service. That young man fills me with hope and some other emotions that are weird and deeply confusing to me.

Alpha male Zapp Brannigan

Meanwhile, Easter