Good ankle support, great traction, won’t come off. Will get you detention if you wear them for gym, though, even though the skater boys’ shoes fly off literally all the time, no, my shoes are the unathletic ones worthy of ridiculously draconian punishment.

(what do you mean? It was twenty years ago. How could I still be salty about it?.. Me bringing it up is proof I am? How does that even make sense? I can’t just talk about relevant things when they come up?! What is this tyrannical reality we live in where we can’t even talk about relevant things?!!)