• Fruitbat [she/her]@lemmygrad.ml
    23·
    25 days ago

    Forgive me if I write this here, since I need somewhere to put this. I just wanted to write somewhere about my dad dying since he’s been in the hospital now for a while.

    cw: grief/death/alcoholism

    My dad is dying due to his drinking. He had a fall last week in the shower but he was “okay”, he fell on his side. However for the last few months he has trouble moving and had another fall in janurary where firefighters needed to help him. And after the shower, he had trouble moving and it got very bad. Anyways he was brought to the hospital and he has been there for a while now and he pretty much just dying. His liver is failing and who god knows what else is wrong. I really hate alcohol. I really hate how my parents didn’t try to take care of themselves more. Since it’s almost been three years now since my mom died, and now he’s dying too.

    At least this time around, family and my friends are there for me unlike when my mom died. It’s also sad that my grandma going to outlive my dad. At least I got to say I love him when he was still mentally there, because the last visit, he’s just, not there. He has only been getting worse since he brought to the hospital, and there talk of him being brought to hospice.

    I don’t know what I’m going to do, especially since I been living with him since I didn’t want to abandon him and tried to do what I can to take care of him. Now he’s dying. Where do I even go after this?

    I really need to get out of this place, but can’t do that since, on top of my dad not bothering to take better care of himself, had left a lot of things unfixed! For example, I can’t drive his car since it now has a flat fucking tire! He did warn me about this and mentioned this a few times in the last few months that the tire might go flat. He had some time to get it fixed, but didn’t… much like a few other things inside this place.

    I just want to get outside, and just, get away from things for a moment. But can’t! All the while, relying on family to bring me to the hospital to see him, but I’m tired of going to that god damn fucking hospital. I hate going there, I hate going to the same floor where my mom died. I hate seeing him like this. I hate alcohol, and why couldn’t he just bother to get help instead of constantly refusing it. It shouldn’t have gotten to this point, but no matter what he kept refusing to get any sort of help. I don’t understand why.

    • Commiejones@lemmygrad.ml
      9·
      24 days ago

      That really sucks.

      Try to focus on on problem at a time. Its good that you have family to help you. Ask them for help but keep it to one request at a time. You don’t want to flood them with all your problems or they will get overwhelmed and do nothing. If they can help you get the tire fixed that is going to relieve a lot of pressure and make it so you can manage a bunch of other problems on your own.

      Hang in there we are all rooting for you.